For starters, “I’m sorry”, just plain “sorry” and definitely “sorry bout that” bothers me. Those particular words/phrases seem to get thrown around like crazy, often with no real meaning or sincere thought behind it. It is so automatic.. “oh sorry, sorry”, hmmm.. (Ok. I have been guilty of saying that myself…) I much more prefer, “I apologize”, “that was not my intention”, my sincere apologies”. These phrases sound and feel much more real and sincere to me, than just “sorry”.
All of which brings me to our topic, Forgiveness…
I recently read something very interesting about Forgiveness.. it was thought of as something that is “earned, not just given”. It helps if one releases the desire to get even or requiring the other person to “pay” for what they have done. When you forgive someone, are saying..”You are free”, “Your debt is paid”.
Consider these points about Forgiveness:
. Watch out not being too quick to forgive, as in a hasty manner. It keeps us from processing the violation.
. Forgiving does not mean you ignore the hurt you are feeling from a given offense.
. Forgiveness does not mean we accept negative behavior.
. When sincerely forgving someone, identify what has happened and understand the significance.
. Stating “I forgive you”, is an inward choice. YOU are choosing to release. YOU are also choosing to take care of yourself and your feelings.
I really do feel that “forgiveness” is about your own emotional growth and not so much about the other person. (Funny, I actually had a situation arise while writing this blog, where I needed to search deep inside to understand where a certain person was coming from so I could eventually forgive their hurtful actions.
Feel free to share your thoughts on Forgiveness..
Resources: The Risk of Forgiveness by Gary Inrig