Did 2020 feel like the year of Time Out? It definitely meant life as we knew it changed or came to a stand still for so many people. I have heard comments like, “2020 was the worst year of my life!” Or “it was just tooo dang hard!” And many, many more comments for the not so good feeling that accompianed COVID in 2020 . There were also the “wish we could go back before this all happened”, and or “will be so happy when we can go back to normal again”.. I personally feel there is not a “going back”. It is like the blog I wrote a few months ago entitled “ The Now Normal”. Believe or not, ready or not, want it or not.. we are moving forward for it is now “Time IN 2021!”
So with 2020 behind us, let’s talk about 2021..
Let’s first sit down and release what did not work for you in 2020… or what you do not want to bring into 2021..
Unwanted habits you may have developed..
Negative thinking and attitudes
Now, lets take some time to think about what you “DO” want for 2021. 2020 was not all bad, there definitely were some “silver linings” no matter how small or insignificant they may have seemed at the time.
How about something new and different you created or can now create (ahhh, new yummy food dishes has definitely been my new jam).
New attitudes – (much more grateful for the little things and writing them down daily.)
More positive thinking/talking points when holding space with and for others.
Let’s take those thoughts and visualize what you want..
You can start by sitting quietly and either meditating or just thinking over you list.
Journaling your thoughts, ideas, gratefulness and so on.
You can create an electronic (see my pic above) or physically version of your dreams/goals/ new ideas. If physical, find pictures and words that you can cut out and paste on a surface of choice. (Poster board, baking sheet, wood block. (Yes, I used a baking sheet last year so magnets could be attached.)
May I suggest we stop here for now to give you an opportunity to check in and see what works for you in creating your “Time IN 2021” project. I will happily pick up where I left off with more helpful ideas, suggestions and always support.
“ Let’s Move Forward Together”
Note: Inspiration for this blog series came from talks given by two empowering, uplifting and most Amazing friends.. Pamelgrace Beatty (https://boomer-life-today.com ) and Kristin Geliski (bundle_of_happy on Instagram).
I am so excited to include a Guest Bloggers Series🦋starting with my dear and long time sistah-friend, PamelaGrace Beatty.
I have had the pleasure of knowning PamelaGrace for many years starting from when we both lived in the California Bay Area. She is a talented visual artist, an awesome inspirational speaker and a true lover of dance. After hearing the following inspirational talk, I asked her to share it on my blog. I am delighted she accepted my offer so that I can share her grounded insights and wisdom with all of you.
Living in the Vibe by Pamelagrace Beatty
Everything is energy. The scientists discovered long ago that everything is made up of atoms. Now, in quantum physics we’ve discovered the atom is not the smallest component of all there is. We discovered the electrons and neurons that make up the atom have smaller components like bosons and quarks! Basically, when it comes right down to it, it’s all energy. Everything is energy. And the reason that we can tell one thing from another, for example people from trees from rocks, is related to the frequency of vibration. Or something like that. So, it follows that if everything is energy and this energy vibrates, then vibrations are key. There’s something in that for the way that human beings can live their lives. We are energy, we vibrate it. We are vibrating our energy all the time. Ours vibrations call to similar vibrations. Those vibrations create our experience of life
In a New Thought church I attended when I lived in California, on Valentine’s Day the minister would always insist that the single people who wanted a mate, stand up. She was asking us to clearly declare our intentions in front of everyone. She said if we could say we wanted a relationship in front of everyone, that would tell the Universe we were serious and that we would attract our mate. She was talking about energy, or vibrations.
One Sunday she had a guest speaker for the Valentine’s service and before we were asked to all stand up to declare our intention to find the love of our lives, the speaker said:
“You don’t get who you want, you get who you are”.
The room was totally quiet. You could almost hear the inner groans. I thought, “I don’t want who I am! I want more than who I am!” In that moment I realized I had some work to do on myself. If I want better, I had to be better. I needed to change how I was showing up in the world. I needed to change my thinking and lift my vibrations to a place where I could attract the person that I wanted to have in my life. And so it began.
We live in a world of energy and vibrations. The kind of energy that we are emitting shapes our vibration level. Lower vibrations produce lower results. Results we may wonder about and certainly not be happy about. If we’re experiencing anger or grief or envy, we are vibrating at an extremely low level. When we vibrate at lower levels, we attract that kind of situation into our lives. Have you ever awakened and had everything go wrong in the morning? You can’t find the shoes you want to wear; you discover you’re out of toothpaste; you stub your toe while going to the bathroom and you realize you’re not prepared for the meeting you’re going to have at work? You might say to yourself, “Today is going to be a bad day.” If you buy into that then that’s what it will be. Your vibrations have brought all that to you. But there is hope! You can change that bad beginning in a snap. Here’s a short cut to energy shifting.
Gratitude! The scientists have caught up with us who already knew that glad gratitude changes your vibrations. It’s a vibration “hack.” You don’t have to go through all the levels to finally get to a higher level of vibrating so that you can live in a higher and better place within yourself. The chart connected here shows lower vibrations in a path upward. In order to go from abject depression to pure joy you would have to move through all the levels of the vibration chart to get there. However, you can embrace the higher levels in the moment and skip past all the levels. It would be like jumping all the squares in monopoly and getting to Go and collecting $200. If you didn’t play Monopoly you still know what I mean. Gratitude, just being thankful with all your heart, will shift your vibration and your experience in a moment of your life. It’s so easy to get caught up in those lower levels of anger or fear or grief. They are very compelling. If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone where you fall into criticizing or despairing about something it’s so easy to just stay there going over story after story of misery allowing them to take your vibration lower and lower. That’s why those wise folks so often encourage us to hang out with people who are positive, not with those who will bring you down. Now this doesn’t mean have no tolerance nor empathy for people who are vibrating at a lower level, it only means don’t make those people your sole source of companionship.
So, the scientists have agreed that being grateful makes you feel better it’s better for your body it’s better for your mental state. However, there’s even more to it than that. I have done a gratefulness journal where before I go to sleep, I think of three things I’m thankful for, and then I wake up in the morning with what I’m thankful for. I’ve even gone so far as to try to see the good in something I didn’t think was so good. However lately I have been taking gratitude more seriously. Now when I look for the seeds of good to be grateful for in the bad, I sincerely seek them, and I find them. And I find that when I can truly embrace these seeds of good, I can feel a difference in how I think about the bad situation. My vibration rises.
You can tell where you are vibrating from simply noticing how you feel. The body speaks to us all the time. If you think about something like doing a job you hate, and notice how your body feels versus how you feel when you think of doing work you love, you will experience an example of what I’m speaking of. So, giving some time to think about the good in the situation can make a big difference. This shift may not happen overnight. You may have to keep going back and searching for those seeds of good and embracing them. For example if you got a divorce after years of being married and you feel you’ve wasted your life and that you were a failure, if you go back and remember the good moments the times where your vibrations were high where you were enjoying each other or maybe when you first fell in love, all of this can be considered seeds of good in spite of the way things ended. It makes it easier to let go of the upset around the situation. You can move on and take those seeds of good with you. You can use them as part of your vision for the perfect partner that you want next time.
Another novel approach to being grateful is “Future Gratitude”. As we envision what we want for our future – that perfect job, perfect mate, or that new experience of living totally in our passion, we can add being thankful for it. This is new to me. I’m just now working on that. I find it quite intriguing and unique. I am used to visualizing what I want in my life that I don’t have yet. It’s a good way to bring into your life what you don’t have but want. I have I’ve been applying being thankful for that future vision as though I already have it right now. It anchors the vision so that it’s not just some airy-fairy tale in my head. But it also seems to satisfy my soul. I feel calmer and more trusting that what I envision for my future is indeed in the works whether I see it or not. Here’s an additional benefit… not only does using these vibration hacks make us feel so much better it also reduces the time it takes for the visions we have of our future to manifest. In other words, we get what we want a lot sooner because we are vibrating at a higher level. You don’t have to take my word for it nor the scientists words for it just simply try it for yourself and see how you feel and see how it works. I guarantee that if you sincerely give gratitude and effort you will see a positive change in your life.
What have you been “thinking” about doing and yet have not made a move on doing it? What natural ability have you taken for granted? Is there something you really are good at doing, and have just taken it for granted? Saying to yourself, it really is nothing, or that it does not matter? Really??? NO really???
Before COVID when I was teaching in dance studios, I would have students with such amazing dancing ability, just taking it for granted and so not taking it seriously. Totally not interested in sharing their “gift” with others. I would ask them what do they want to do with their gift… “nothing” would be their reply. I was alwyas taken back and think..”oh my”. I guess because “gifts/talents” are so precious to me. And I must admit that dance was my life for so many years. It was my gift and I was dtermined to develop it to the best of my ability.
What causes people to not pursue a particular talent or gift that they have been given? Is it a total lack of interest? Is there a fear of rejection? Fear of hard work and or failure? Or may be they do not see what others see in them.
These are all questions we must ask ourselves and decide as to the reasons. It is not for me or others to judge. However, we can encourage and support those that may need a little nudge. “Hold a space” just as I have talked about in a previous blog, for them, as they slowly develop thier gift. Sometimes it means holding a mirror up so they can see what they have going on.. and that you are there to support them through the process. Gifts are meant to be shared with others for we never know who is being inspired by watching YOU!
Think about what gift you can share with others today!
Getting healthy, being healthy, staying healthy is a personal choice. How we go about getting, being and staying healthy has to be totally up to us. Getting, staying, being healthy involves so many different aspects, will we be a meat eater or vegetarian, what’s our daily water intake like, will we take vitamins and supplements, (and ofcourse, which brand) how much if any exercising are we doing and even what type of exercises are we interested in – dance, aerobic, yoga, martial arts – the list can go on and on.
Getting, being, staying healthy is so important in general, and especially during these days with all that is going on. We must include our mental and emotional health for getting, being and staying healthy, it is not just about the physical. There is also a spiritual component to all of this, once again, our choice. We have to decide what makes us happy or sad at any given moment in time and how will we handle those feelings and emotions.
I have heard several times, you can not control what comes your way, however, you can control your reaction. We always have the choice of reacting or not, and how we will react. Even if a reaction is even needed.
Let us be sure we are taking time for us. Discovering, noticing and developing what is good for our own welfare. Life is constantly changing, and with that.. so must we.
As I was marketing a new line of make-up on Instagram, I came up with a funny yet very real script.. Make-Up: Girlfriend, where are you going? Me: No where.. this is for ME!
Each and every day I believe in “getting up” and “showing up” as best I can. It helps me stay positive and gives me what I need to be supportive with others.
Often during these times, we need to find those things that cause us to feel pretty, safe, secure, needed, loved and or just overall positive about ourselves. Finding the positive things that we can take a hold of and say, This is for Me! This helps Me feel good. It does not have to be anything large or super dramatic, however, a tad of drama every now and then doesn’t hurt. LOL
Finding something large enough that when those not so positive feelings begin asking – Girlfriend, what are you doing? You can respond, “Honey, this is for ME!”
So I support you checking in with your self to determine, What can you start or continue doing that is just for YOU!
This blog post IS about paying tribute to whom I am calling a “Gentle Giant” and NOT about politics, political opinions, taking sides. I was moved, so very touched after reading the following article about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, that I wanted to share it with all of you. This article really helped me to understand how to be with others whose opinions differ greatly from my own.
My dear friend Chris F. wrote the following after reading the article, “It (the article) showed an independent woman who remained gentle and kind to others regardless of how she was treated – very difficult thing to do”. I totally agree with her accessment.
As “airey-fairy” (this phrase is from my CA days) as it may sound, we really do need more Light, Love & Peace in our hearts, souls and surroundings. I feel it helps by taking deep breaths every now and then and finding ways to sit with ourselves and just be still. Even as hard as these times can feel right now, there is enough Light, Love & Peace for us ALL.
May her loving acts of kindness be a lesson to us all..
It just looks like a simple rock… and to some it is. However, to me, it’s my Standing Through It All point of focus. This rock is right outside my window and has been there for years. No matter the weather conditions, rain, snow, sleet, you name it.. my rock is there. I really starting taking daily notice of my rock about 5 months ago and begin focusing on it at the end of my eye exercises and when I meditate. Along with my “Stress Less” herbal tea and Gummies, my rock helps to get me through those days that feel tough.
It’s really funny because for years I sort of noticed my rock, off and on, just planted there on the kitchen roof area. (My room is on the second floor of our home and the kitchen’s roof extends out just below my window.) So many times lately, I have been tempted to go out on that roof top and get it, so I have it forever and yet, I do have it forever right where it is.
Like my rock, I know I must keep STIA for 2020 has been a year of much uncertaninty and strength building all at the same time. STIA not just for myself but for others as well. STIA helps as I teach my online Cardio&Dance classes giving the women in my classes an hour on any given day to stay fit and dance around while leaving the challenges their outside. STIA for those young dancers at Gallaudet University, the world’s only deaf and hard of hearing liberal arts university, gives them a place to express their creativity as they learn and dance my choreography. And most of all, STIA for friends that are facing heartache, painful situations or just a place to feel the connection of community all done through Zoom!
I can not and do not want to imagine the day I look out of my window and “my rock” is gone, and yet, that could happen. Even if it does, I will will continue to STIA just like that rock has done for me all these years.
Take a moment to think about who and what inspires you to STIA for not only yourself, but for others as well.
In my last blog, I spoke about “Holding Space” for self. Holding Space can be for others as well.
Have you ever said to a friend or family member:
. I’ve got your back
. Know I am here for you
. I’m listening
. I feel ya
. I understand
You’re listening to others when you..
. ask open and honest questions
. focus on the person talking
. not looking at your phone or some other distraction
. making and maintaining eye contact
. not dominating the conversation with suggestions and or preceived fixes
These are all forms of verbally Holding Space for others. Many times people come to you with their heart, emotions, feelings in their hand, and they want you to “just” listen to them. They need a safe space to release what is bothering them in hopes of releasing even a small bit of the hurt and heartache they are feeling. Often times, they are not coming for advice or your opinion about their situation. They are coming to you looking for a non-judgemental, safe space to be emotional.
Holding Space for others is more than just listening with your ears. It’s listening with your eyes, your posture and most of all with your heart.
Holding Space means sincerely showing that you care about what they are saying and the feelings behind their words.
I choose to not be you... (learned from the Calm Meditation app) This is my new mantra when anxiety hits, and I must say, it has been very helpful. Just because certain unpleasant emotions grab a hold of you, it does not mean you have to “be” that emotion. We can see it, feel it and still not “live in” it. However, we can “hold space” so it can move on.
The act of “holding space” for me, means finding a place within where I can observe the emotion, possibly it’s root case, and then find ways to take care of myself and allow it to move onward. I know, it all seems so much “easier said than done”. And truthfully, some days it is. LOL (I will do a future blog post around “holding space” especially when it comes to helping friends.)
Recently I saw on Instagram a post by Mel Robbins, where she talked about waking up with anxiety, know that one, and how she dealt with it. Here are a few of her suggestions and more:
. get up, do not just lay there smothering youself in the dreaded feelings.
. move, exercise, dance, go for a walk, do yoga, do something that will move both your body, energy and anxiety around.
.meditation, prayer, deep breathing exercises, mindfullness all of which can help in getting to the root of anxiety in particular or in general.
. take really good vitamins and supplements (especially if you know where the herbs are grown and harvested) making sure your body is getting what it needs along with your daily meals.
. eating for what your body needs, meat, fish, veggie/vegan, dairy/gluten/sugar free, (that’s me minus the meat and fish,) that way, making sure your body is receiving the right nourshment on a daily basis.
. getting adequate rest, sleep is essential for sustaining a sound emotional state of being. (this can be tricky for those of us also dealing with insomnia, thank you menapause).
. if medication is needed, by all means take it.
There are so many levels to the depths of anxiety, therefore, this is just a bit of my personal journey. Find what works for you. Do not be ashamed or feel less than because you have “those days” when nothing seems right. Be gentle as you travel through those days and know I support you in finding a process for yourself. 🦋