Self ❤️ Series: Forgiveness

For starters,   “I’m sorry”, just plain “sorry” and definitely “sorry bout that” bothers me.  Those particular words/phrases seem to get thrown around like crazy, often with no real meaning or sincere thought behind it.  It is so automatic.. “oh sorry, sorry”, hmmm.. (Ok. I have been guilty of saying that myself…) I much more prefer,  “I apologize”,  “that was not my intention”, my sincere apologies”. These phrases sound and feel much more real and sincere to me, than just “sorry”.  

All of which brings me to our topic,  Forgiveness…

I recently read something very interesting about Forgiveness.. it was thought of as something that is “earned, not just given”. It helps if one releases the desire to get even or requiring the other person to “pay” for what they have done. When you forgive someone, are saying..”You are free”, “Your debt is paid”.

Consider these points about Forgiveness:

. Watch out not being too quick to forgive, as in a hasty manner. It keeps us from processing the violation.

. Forgiving does not mean you ignore the hurt you are feeling from a given offense.

. Forgiveness does not mean we accept negative behavior.

. When sincerely forgving someone, identify what has happened and understand the significance.

. Stating “I forgive you”, is an inward choice. YOU are choosing to release. YOU are also choosing to take care of yourself and your feelings.

I really do feel that “forgiveness” is about your own emotional growth and not so much about the other person. (Funny, I actually had a situation arise while writing this blog, where I needed to search deep inside to understand where a certain person was coming from so I could eventually forgive their hurtful actions.

Feel free to share your thoughts on Forgiveness..

Resources: The Risk of Forgiveness by Gary Inrig

Staying Healthy Series: Staying Hydrated

This is a must during these hot summer months. (Well.. it has been pretty hot here in DC and in the Bay Area as well!) Finding the right size drinking container and keeping it near by is a must. However, not only keeping it near you, you have to remember to drink your water on a regular basis. Have you set how much you will drink each day? Some of us even have a timer set so we are sure to know when to drink our designated amount throughout the day! If you are home most of the time, you may feel this is a no brainer, well, think again my friend. We get so busy with work, doing houshold chores, teaching fitness and dance on Zoom or puttsing around, it is easy to overlook one of the most important parts of your Health and Wellness journey.. Staying Hydrated!!!

Next thing, where is your water coming from? Are you using plastic, glass or aluminum bottles, a portable water filter pitcher, and heaven forbid just plain old tap water (unless you live in a really good tap water area.. hmmm, now where is that??) For many years my water filtration system connected to the kitchen sink, and just recently switched from above the sink to below.. Definitely loving the new convenient and handy location. My filtered water is used for drinking, and cooking.

When considering a water filtration system of any kind, there are a few things to take into consideration:

1. Check for it’s certifications ie. NSF

2. Make sure your product has been constructed safe from materials and claims that are backed by test data.

3. Make sure it allows beneficial minerals like calcium, magnesium to pass through.

4. That it dramatically improves the taste, order and overall water clarity.

5. Check how many times will you need to replace the filter(s)

6. As with my pic, make sure you see the difference in the used filter and the new one being replaced.

Now that I have shared a few hydration tips, what are you waiting for???


The Now Norm

When you really think about it, every day, minute, second, our lives change. Some are calling these changes and what were are facing, “the new norm”. Is that really what is happening in our lives now?

I ask myself, is change something I can handle? Is it something that I can embrace and live with the new? Most days I respond, Yes! I have literally begun recreating myself with the help of Zoom in teaching Cardio&Dance and Urban Contemporary Dance classes that are just the “BEST”. I am use to coming upon challenges and having to recreate myself in order to continue on. It happened when I turned 40 and the professional dance company disbanded and I was not picked up by another company. It was not due to lack of talent, it was about age and perceived ability. The real blessing with that situation, is that I formed my own company with many talented dance artist and acting women that only dreamed of performing and now those dreams were coming true! What a delight to see them on stage doing what they so loved and yet never thought possible. Living your passion is a beautiful thing to behold.

What do you say or think to yourself about your ever changing life journey, especially in the face of COVID. We can not imagine wanting to be stagnant, however, we often fear change as we cling on tightly to what we know and feel is familiar. So many of us are living each day in the past or far into the future. How about living in the “now”. The “Now Norm”

Let us not be afraid to make changes and to not only trust but also believe in ourselves to create and make those needed adjustments. Have you thought about what your “Now Norm” is looking like??

Self ❤️ Series: A Reflection

This is what I am learning to be, do and accept.. Me.

So often, we as women, just do not think of ourselves first, or so often, not at all. One of the songs in my movement class is entitled “Self Love”. It speaks to how we give so much to others, sending much love out into the world, and not LOVEing ourselves.

“You give everybody else love but you never give Yourself love don’t forget about your self love, self love”

The women in my classes love this song as I work to match our movements with the lyrics and hugging ourselves. When was the last time you gave yourself a hug? How about this one. Have you ever just stopped and looked at your self in the mirror and said, “I love ya girl?” Another tough one, I know.

I got the phone call to “come now” in 2008 my mother was dying. I was living in Washington, DC and she was in Gary, Indiana. I caught the next flight out, arrived in Chicago, rented a car and headed directly to the hospital. There was mom, in what appeared to be a coma with absolutely no hair. To this day, I will always believe she could hear me say to her how much I loved her and that it was okay to go home and be with her sister and parents.

I remember saying to myself, “where did her hair go?” I just saw her in May, and yes, there was hair loss happening, and now it is September. Genetic hair loss is a real thing for all the women in my family, so I knew that it was going to include me. I had begun losing my eyebrows and my hair line was starting to recede.

It was not simply a lack of self love, but it was not recognizing my mom, too, was more than her hair. She was ambitious – seeking out a higher paying job rather than being executive secretary to the mayor of Gary. She was brave-becoming a Deputy Sheriff in Indiana at a time when Black women just did not do that. She was kind- always willing to help those in need. Even though I did not grow up with her, she was still my mother and a very powerful woman in her own right. In her own way, she loved me, we loved each other and that is what needs to be remembered and focused on, not the hair loss issue.

Why I ask myself? Why do I feel this way when I know I am so much more than just my hair and eyebrows? Why can I not accept the changes that are happening and LOVE me? I felt something was missing.

Truth is, I can look in the mirror today with penciled in eyebrows and curly hair and STILL see her amazing face! I am proud of that. There will be days that I do not put on eyebrows, pull my hair back and see my shiny forehead, and I am proud of that. Have I fully arrived? Heck no, but it feels so much better and that is progress.

What are you working to feel proud about? What are you working to overcome?


“You give everybody else love but you never give Yourself love don’t forget about your self love, self love”

Staying Healthy Series: Maintaining A Routine, Calendar or Do It Now List!

For me, being such a structured person, it was imperative that I continue to follow a daily routine during this “Protective Mode Time” as I like to call it. I did not want to go through my days Willy-Nilly.. (which on some days is actually, OK! LOL)

I found that keeping a routine helps me stay in a positive mode most days and I am able to reach out to others, through either teaching fitness/dance classes on Zoom, phone calls, text or even Zoom lunch dates. But most of all, I have really expanded my morning devotional time which totally sets the mood for my day. Writing in a gratitude journal, (5 Minute Jounal app), meditating (Calm app), doing my morning spiritual chanting, and reviewing my days activities (iPad Planner) makes a really big difference along with eating regularly and definitely taking my vitamins and supplements (Nutrilite). Oh, and let’s not leave out getting plenty of water and taking a nap now and then.

Ya know… everyone does not have to have a structured routine to get through their day.. but I will say.. it really helps in maintaining a positive outlook as we move forward.

Remember:Discover if developing a routine will be helpful in getting YOU through these days and keeping YOU relatively sane and cheerful..